Horribly Disappointed

I am terribly disappointed with myself. The time when there was a chance for reconciliation, I let it pass by like that. I am stubborn. Have I really forgiven that person? Perhaps I'm letting my pride get into the way. Wait a minute, I'm supposed to seek forgiveness from that person for I am the one at fault, but I guess the guilt trip that I have gone through makes it really difficult for me to do so. I am TIRED, I am SPENT! Being mean and ignoring the person while the others said hi... it breaks me up inside. Damn I still have ma1102r lecture and later mm practice to go through. I don't know how I'm going through with it. I'm feeling like crap now. I don't know how to deal with it.