I...

Argh, a cup of coffee at night with a thinking mind is the recipe for insomnia. >=(

I want to become a doctor because I would be able to possess the inate skills to aid others. I would be able to alleviate physical pain. I envy those doctors who are able to go to countries to offer their services with the red cross. I guess I may not have the guts to do so since I'm like so scared of insects and such. I like to know those weird names for illnesses and play detective in diagnosing a disease. I think I would like to be able to talk to my patients, or even visit hospices. However, I wasn't meant to get into Singapore med school. Perhaps I wasn't good enough. Sometimes some my relatives would call me doctor... I used to be quite sore about it, but I guess I have begun to smile and just be glad that I have them around.

I love science. I am intrigued by how the body works. I would like to learn anatomy... I love biochemistry because the pathways are so fascinating and it's a challenge to link all the reactions in a logical fashion. Chemistry has a little maths in it. I used to like maths, BUT NOT ANYMORE. I still like to solve logic puzzles.

If I can't be a doctor, I would like to work in a hospital as a researcher. Maybe at the cancer centre or the heart centre at Outram. There's even a department in NUS, I think in collaboration with NUH, working on tissue regeneration. WOW! Imagine if a new heart could be regenerated. To be a good researcher, there is no short cut... one must study hard and long. It's really a bookish kinda path. But I'm afraid that I may be hyping things up too much... sometimes I dread practicals... I wonder if I would find the job boring. Heh... who knows I might end up doing something entirely different...

Another love of mine is music. It lifts my heart. I wish I were a little more creative - then I can actually compose my own stuff! I miss being in a choir. I miss singing all those old latin pieces where the harmony mixed with feeling of the voices transports you to another realm - a prayer of thanksgiving, praise, petition, wonder and awe. I like other sorts of more contemporary music as well... I like alternative music because it expresses emotions with much intensity. Classic rock, well rocks too! I like songs with meaningful lyrics. When I am in the mood, I like happy songs as they make me smile. An chill night out would be just relaxing with a few friends and hearing a band play. I am interested in exploring other sorts of music... traditional, jazz? Just for appreciation sake.

I love nature as well. I love to take long walks to appreciate the surroundings. Watching a bird walk makes me laugh as the faster it walks, the faster its head nods. Witnessing the beauty of nature makes me happy. It's simply breathtaking. It makes you want to jump for joy and believe in a higher being. If I weren't in life sciences, I would want to be in environmental engineering, specifically studying bioremediation (using biological agents to remove pollution), or recycling waste into useful products. I would really love that. I wish that people would pay more attention to recycling paper or saving electricity.

I love history. I love to see architecture that have been preserved since the olden times. I love to appreciate the culture of other people. Appreciating culture is appreciating the beauty of humankind. I love poetry, art and craft too, although I can't draw to save my life. Perhaps jigsaw puzzles are fusion between art and logic. That's why I like to do them.

Okay, it's almost 6am in the morning. Hope I can get some shut-eye now.