The stabbing pain has been reduced to a chronic dull ache.

Thank you for helping me have a good night's rest.

Will I every be able to redress the folly on feb 12 2005? If things were made clear then, people wouldn't have been hurt so badly. It would either have been a yes or no.

What's done cannot be undone. This path is so so cold. I hang on to the faint glimmer of hope that God heals.

However, how can I expect God to clean up the mess I've made?

I dwell in hurt and guilt. Perhaps this is the penance I have to do to make up for it.

At least I can try to be more functional today.