Searching for Meaning

I am currently seated at a place where many memories flood me. The time and effort that I put into, to grow and also hopefully to help others grow...
Have I grown? Yes I have, and I thank you all for playing a part in this.

However, if I am doing something good, then why is it breaking some people down? Do the things I do, not seem to hold any meaning to others? I bear the sweat, toil, tears and heartache because I hope that people will find meaning in it and grow from the experience, that I may be an instrument. If I fail to be an instrument of love, what am I doing here? If I don't benefit others, what am I doing here?

I don't wish to taint its good name. I will not forget how much good it has done for me. It's me. I am so sorry.

No no... this feeling must pass.

Grant me strength, shine through me so that others may be filled as well!