Exams Wouldn't Be Normal Without Breakdowns

When I said this was as bad as it can get... boy am I so wrong. =P It got really bad yesterday... During mass I tried really hard to focus but I couldn't feel at peace. Something was so unsettling within me. However, I learnt a message during mass... stay awake and continue to be the glimmer of hope in this dark dark world. It sort of gave me comfort when I try to fight against my own demons by suppressing my feelings and doing the right thing because doing that just zaps out so much energy from me. Then my parents came to pick me up for dinner. We had a great meal and a lovely time although a migraine was creeping in. I'm glad that my parents and Jeki came last night. However after they left, I still couldn't fall asleep despite having developed a headache. As a last resort I made a phone call to SM who was out playing pool at the moment. I thank you for calming me down and helping me rationalise and vomit out why I was so bothered and stressed. Think breaking down over the phone is less paiseh than breaking down face-to-face. Hah. Damn, I thought I would not break down this semester but I AM SO WRONG! I guess for me, exams wouldn't be exams without the stress and breakdowns. I thank God for the message of hope. May I focus on You and nothing else. May I lean on Your strength and not mine while doing the right things against my own human nature.

Agape.