To live life to the full
I envy people who have so much energy within them to want to live life to the full.
I wonder what I am like... I wonder what it is that drives me deep down inside. I wonder whether there is ever someone who can bring out the ME in me. It's not that I do not have people I am close to... I have my best friends, I have my family, I have the boy, I have my friends, I have my cousins... it is just that I am too good in hiding ME, choosing instead to be a chameleon, changing to suit the needs of others. Why do I hide ME? I think it's because I REALLY HATE friction, choosing to sacrifice my own self identity for the sake of harmony. However, I have been over-doing it. As a result, after a long time period, I lose my own idea of self.
Wait a minute, why am I waiting for someone to bring out the ME in me? Can't I bring it out by my own? I can't expect to be changed if I don't do something about it. I HAVE TO CHANGE MYSELF.
I don't want to be merely a shadow. I want to have a form to call my own. I want to know who I am, what I love to do, and reach out to do things that are fulfilling in order to grow and live life to the full. I want to seize the day instead of taking the back seat and watch time pass by, wasted. I need to free my mind from all that is holding me back from being myself. I need to dare to dream. I need to challenge that mould I have created so superbly in people's minds of myself.
I just hope that when I finally know who I am and have the guts to show it, people will accept the ME in me, not just the chameleon.
I wonder what I am like... I wonder what it is that drives me deep down inside. I wonder whether there is ever someone who can bring out the ME in me. It's not that I do not have people I am close to... I have my best friends, I have my family, I have the boy, I have my friends, I have my cousins... it is just that I am too good in hiding ME, choosing instead to be a chameleon, changing to suit the needs of others. Why do I hide ME? I think it's because I REALLY HATE friction, choosing to sacrifice my own self identity for the sake of harmony. However, I have been over-doing it. As a result, after a long time period, I lose my own idea of self.
Wait a minute, why am I waiting for someone to bring out the ME in me? Can't I bring it out by my own? I can't expect to be changed if I don't do something about it. I HAVE TO CHANGE MYSELF.
I don't want to be merely a shadow. I want to have a form to call my own. I want to know who I am, what I love to do, and reach out to do things that are fulfilling in order to grow and live life to the full. I want to seize the day instead of taking the back seat and watch time pass by, wasted. I need to free my mind from all that is holding me back from being myself. I need to dare to dream. I need to challenge that mould I have created so superbly in people's minds of myself.
I just hope that when I finally know who I am and have the guts to show it, people will accept the ME in me, not just the chameleon.
posted by Michelle at 10:20 pm
6 Comments:
That's really beautiful.
finally
everyone of us do care about others to a certain extent, just that some of us choose to put others in front of self while others choose to do otherwise. No right or wrong, just simply yr priorities. No one will love or like u less becos u choose to be yrself and have your own opinions. they should like u and not who they want u to be. :) [so pls disagree with me more k? -Just joking lah]
maybe this is u?
that's the way girl! you know we'll love you all the same :)
*on behalf of kor* + cindy
From your post, it sounds like you're a phlegmatic (I am, too). I'm always strongly tempted to give up my own desires/change who I am on the surface, because I hate conflict. Every day, I have to tell tell myself, "Don't be afraid to show them who you really are, people won't like you any less, and if they do, then they're not your real friends anyway, and in the long run, they don't really matter. Just let it go." It's really hard for me to remember that (and even harder to put it into action!), but positive self-talk has helped me to go for what I want, instead of letting everyone else's thoughts/opinions push me to the side.
BTW, I'd really recommend a book called The Temperament God Gave You. It's an excellent book, and it's really helped me to grow in self-knowledge.
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