Wee!

Stuffing myself with butter cookies in an attempt to reduce the inertia and oozyness in my brain. ARGH! I need to like get out of my seat and go and wash up and bolt out of this room! *sob*

The pressure is rising... feeling like a pressure cooker but all I want to do is erm.. grab a pillow and zzzzz.

Yes, STRESS is back! My all-time friend. May I be in control.

Agape.

It's Worth It

Sometimes I do certain things that are not really me... however, I do it for a reason, and the reason is motivated by love. It is worth the time, effort and money tonight. Please grant me the strength to complete my tasks.

I love the present my brother got for me. I got him a similar thing on his 18th birthday (I think) years ago. Although the one I got him is so chao kak and of cheap metal, he still wears it, 8 years later.

The whole afternoon was spent in science library on my lab report and research but I had a lovely time. Just walking in the evening with the cool wind blowing made my heart happy. Simple things in life are indeed beautiful.

My cousin stephen's place is cool! Hahah... hopefully we can all attend mass one day at the Blessed Sacrament Church then head to his house for a stayover. >.< May God bless the Lee family as well as the Han family.

Okay I think the heater has warmed up the water. Time to go and bathe and zzz.

Agape.

Urge to Pray

Feeling thoughtful this morning.

Once in a while a fear will grip me but I must not let it overcome me. I will pray and pray, and pray that God will guide us. Hope tilts the balance for me.

Thinking about others and how they feel right now. Can the ministry of presence ease their load? The ministry of presence lets love shine to others but is it enough? I must try, no matter how little the effect will be.

I feel the urge to pray.

Lift up my troubles and worries to Him with a grateful and willing heart to love and He will work wonders in me.

Agape.

Quiet confidence

Today's cultural night was cool!!!! =) Loved it. Bahasa Indo night for level 1 people. *^^* A pity I couldn't eat the stuff... *grin*

The quiet confidence of stability is back inside me. I've learnt a few things and I'm glad I did. Tonight will be a night of peaceful slumber. =) Thank you for making things right, you know who you are.

Agape.

Fragile Forest

Feeling like a fragile forest (not the sentosa one). No provocations today that will make my whole being topsy turvy and my heart and mind jammed up please. I need to be functional today... I need to be able to be useful and contribute. I need to be in control of myself.

A start of a new day. May God give me the strength to accomplish my responsibilities today.

May you all have the strength too.

Good Day!

Agape.

Selamat Pagi!

Good morning everyone!!

Feeling so so so so much better after a good night's rest. Slept early last night as was feeling a lil' ... so couldn't do anything. Thank my parents for the wonderful and simple dinner though... love that place, love the chilled out open-air ambience and OF COURSE the fellowship and love. We didn't go to the "special" place as my mom had intended but it's really okay with me - what matters more is the company. I have to re-state that my brother is my happy pill. *^^* His presence, his wisecracks just brings my mood from down to up.
________________________________

Received an sms last night which I only read this morning which further brightened up my day today. =) Today is going to be one busy day! I'm finally making myself go jogging! Do some work now, eat breakfast, wait for food to digest then get my un-toned self on the treadmill. I wonder when I can start jogging in school. Finally recovered from that chronic cough. Itinary for today:

Morning prayer (done)
Breakfast
Study
Jog
Prepare for interview
Lunch
Interview
Research for lab
Mass
Home for dinner
(watch Naruto??? hmm..)
Prepare for school

Okays... I shall go off now. Hopefully your day will be started on the right foot like mine! Good day to all.

Agape.

Oh man...
My brother is my happy pill... He just lights up my mood when he came back!

Loving

What entails loving a person?
Does loving a person mean letting go of all my own desires?
I think loving is a lot of hard work.
Does loving a person mean giving till it hurts?

I think loving a person means helping him/her to become a better person, even when sometimes you have to go against your own human nature to do so. Now, that's the hard work part. But I believe it is not through the easy, happy times that love is truly manifested; it is through the trying times - where you choose to think of the other despite yourself, battling against your own personal desires, wants and needs - that love shines its brightest star.

It is against human nature to love fully, for it's human instinct to survive. That's why strength and inspiration need to be drawn from Him who gives unconditional love. I can never fully love because I will always fall from time to time but I can look to the ideal of the love that is Agape and try, try, try to follow it. May He be my guide.

Agape.

Friends

They came bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above him. After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying.
When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Child, your sins are forgiven.”
- Mark 2:3-5

Friends.
I find it difficult to be in the position to be unable to repay my friends back. And yet I know that there are certain friends of mine who will not expect anything in return... they do things for me just because. It is overwhelming to experience such love and concern. Sometimes I wonder - why do you do this for me? You know I can never repay you the goodness that you have done. Why do you still do it? Perhaps I should learn to accept and grow. I have been touched on my special day. I have experienced forgiveness, love, concern and going out to do something for me at the expense of hurting oneself. Thank you all. I don't know whether I can ever repay you all but I thank you and I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

Agape.

What a day and night it has been. :)

Thank You Lord
Thank You all.

Agape.

Tired...

"Do you want me to accompany you to study at ______?"
"Please go back and rest."

And that is what I did.

Sometimes I really don't know when to stop, at the expense of my well-being. it takes a person to hold me back. Thank you for taking care of me when I don't do so.

Time to bathe and rest. Had such a long day today.

Agape.

Eyes Wanna Pop Out!

Wearing contacts and mugging isn't very good.
My eyes feel like they are going to pop out!!
ARGH!
*grin*

Trying to amuse myself to keep awake.
Darn I'm hungry. I'm like a mouse, eating one butter cookie at a time... which doesn't help alleviate the phlegm in my throat and that makes me cough. Gah.

Kkkk, will do my best. All the best for everyone too who's having test later.

For now... Toilet BREAK!

Agape.

A Different V-Day

Souls laid bare
Cries of anguish within
Dark memories of the past
Resurfaced

Souls laid bare
Exposed, vulnerable
Clothed in the warm embrace
Enveloping

Veils removed
All that is left
Is plain to see
Me.

Hearts purged of their sins
Gingerly morph into something
Unthinkable
Unbelievable

Strength drawn from a source
Not being to fathom its depth
Courage to let go
Letting Love heal.

So many people to thank...

I have so many people to show my appreciation for BUT I can't do it tomorrow. Many friends whom I hold dear to my heart but never got the time to spend with as much as I would like to.

Yesterday one year ago was a crappy day. I did my mourning and remembrance. Memories just sit in my brain.

Feeling much better this morning. =) Damn got test later... time to freshen up!!!

Agape.

The Heat IS ON!

Darn it... so little time so much to do.. it's times like this where I need more chocolates - to boost my seratonin levels and keep my depression in check. Some concerned friends have told me that I get stressed up too easily. I shall not go crazy this time... I just need to... focus, focus focus!

I had to cancel some plans which I feel really bad about... =(( if I didn't have dinner tonight I would have gone to meet them but I... have another dinner at my grandma's place which I knew only a few days ago so... yah.

I need to care more for others. They are important to me. I need to love more. Sigh.

Darn, I just feel like sleeping my day away.

Agape.

Miracle?!?!?!

Is a miracle happening? I just received wonderful news from a friend. I can't believe this. God is good... His healing love.

Agape.

Headachey

Sick but refusing to see the doctor... something is wrong with me... >.< The headache on the right side wouldn't go away. Sigh.. I need all the focus I can get to tide me through next week. Mich, your discipline and focus! I am responsible for my grades and myself. Yet I am learning not to let it take over me... May I strike a balance!

Okies... I think I need to prepare for school now. Hopefully I can go for mass later.

Agape.

Feeling a little Under the Weather

I love mornings. I had 8+ hours of sleep!!!! FINALLY. Was sos sos sos sos tired yesterday but I couldn't get myself to sleep for something was troubling my mind. However by the evening the troubles went away! =)

Mass yesterday was good. Service, not power we look for in emulating Christ. It's weird that Christ came in such a fragile form for us... at our mercy... in the form of a baby, in the bread of the Eucharist and in the poor. And yet we are in awe of Him. I am reminded that through the coming of Christ there is no more separation between what's pure and impure - everything and EVERYONE here is blessed and good. I guess I need to be reminded to see things that way, so that I won't be so quick to judge.

Darn, I'm down with a sore throat, a blocked nose and warm head... hopefully I don't have a fever or something. Throat hurts but I'm happy.

Busy week next week... hopefully I can focus and bear the load with a happy heart!

Agape.