Empty my thoughts of pride and fear, and lead me to where You want me to be.

I am unable to express what I am feeling right now.

My head is a whirlpool. My heart is a warzone.

Steady me please!

Strength and focus are what I need right now to carry out the duties that are required of me...

Dear Lord, I need You.

"My grace is all you need, for My power is greatest when you are weak."

Updated*

Happy 21st Birthday Shaun (in advance)! A beautiful dinner, attended by so many friends from different places with the birthday boy in mind. :) I'm glad I stayed throughout the whole birthday despite being 'groupless'. It gladdens my heart to see this friend of mine being so loved and appreciated by everyone.

* * *

A confused mind for a troubled heart. A disturbed soul. I need to find the quietude amongst the cacophony of my life. How fragile is progress. How precious it is because what people work so hard to achieve can be reversed in a flash.

Lord, I need You. Have mercy on me.

* * *

1.39pm

Funny how it is that you're sinking down and down just an hour ago and all you want to do is just to sleep the whole day away, and after an hour later, when you're helping someone do something despite your hurting self, your heart is suddenly warmed with a flicker of hope. Perhaps it is the lyrics of this song I came across that spoke to me when I was researching a meaningful song for my friend's session.

An excerpt from "God is in Control - Twila Paris"

This is no time for fear
This is a time for faith and determination
Don’t lose the vision here
Carried away by the motion

Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together

God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him
We know, ohh, God is in control
Ohh, God is in control


Face your fears Mich. God will provide.

Sleep.

Woohoo!

Can't seem to re-energise myself by sleeping. Am I falling sick? I'm aching all over. A sign of the flu bug? :\ Ah, sleeping is my new favourite hobby. Record-breaker for a long time.. sleeping at 10+ pm last night! After 10 hours I strangely still feel like sleeping. Sigh.

I need to pray - haven't been conversing with Him for a while.

The Revenge of the Migraine

Oh boy, I have this terrible headache which is lasting for almost 3 days. Hopefully this will subside soon.

My Day. *updated*

2.55am

A realisation that I am really a scatterbrain. I know I can do things right, I really can. Maybe I need to organise myself.

A wonderful birthday. *^^* I felt like a special guest, me and Joanne being the only 2 non-dunmanians! Although it wasn't my birthday, my heart goes all out to the organiser - Deborah Koh, for so much love put into it. I am deeply touched by the whole event... perhaps we 5 should bond more - or rather I should take more effort to keep these friendships strong. They are beautiful people, really. Happy, happy birthday dear Wan Zhen! :)

A prayer request for a troubled heart.

A nice supper with me parents.

A lovely photo on my desktop which made me smile. =)


12.41pm

It's completely retarded that the heart can be so silly at times. Sigh. I wish I could just will it away. =/

1.20pm

Ooh... rain! not the heavy sort with gusts of wind but the gentler sort, which waters the plants and makes them happy. Ha.
Thank You Lord.

School has started. Trying to fit into the momentum of school. I'm so not a morning person but I should try to be one! >.< I am going to try not to disappear from science so much anymore. Friends grow, things change, I just hope that I will accept and love with open arms.

Busy weeks ahead with handing over and such. Certain things keep slipping my mind! Can't seem to remember everything! Grrrr.

The days so far have been pretty all right. The downs do exist, but the ups exist in higher numbers so I am thankful. Perhaps the force has been restored to the system. Hehheh.

Thank you for the company back home at the expense of your weariness... I am speechless.

Agape.

An Adventure to Remember!

"Would you like to go on an adventure with me?"

A leap of faith.
A promise made.
And a yes.

I Can't Sleep!

My eyes are tearing like mad but I can't seem to fall asleep. I close my eyes till they start twitching. ARGH.

I hate it when my mind starts to think too much and the excessive worrying kicks in where little problems get magnified 10x in my brain. I need a bat to whack some sense into my head. Grr. Shucks, there goes my plan to sleep early to wake up early to go jogging. Slow and steady Mich. Be brave, be strong and have faith. You have every reason to smile. Yes I have so much to be grateful for. Yes, the mood to pray.

Listening to songs now as I type. Sets me daydreaming. Far Away by Nickelback is one of my all-time fav love songs. :) Okay, If You Were My Baby by Rick Price is nice too (that's because it's playing now, haha, I'm so easily swayed). Oh oh! How about Everlasting Love? That funky song lagi make me cannot sleep.

Please keep the unrest in the Middle East, as well as the uncertainty of the terror threat in the UK in your prayers. Was talking to my dad last night and he sighed, "there can never be world peace." I wish this senseless fighting would end soon. World peace is indeed perfection. We may never achieve utopia but fragile and imperfect as we are, the human race is resilient. Hope burns in our hearts for a better world. That is the strength and beauty of the human spirit.

Happy 41st Birthday Singapore!

Many things to do and see this National day, not forgetting the Fireworks Festival which ends this saturday 12 Aug! :) For more details, click on the picture above. (Thanks Elaine!)

Had an eventful day.

Visited Ms Goh's wake with Elaine and Dwi. It made me realise that she has done so much and touched so many hearts. I hope she knows how grateful I am.

NDP-watching at home. A quiet affair.
Dinner was great. =)

Thank you Lord for today.

080806 updated.

4.39pm

Feeling kinda sian today. =( I'm not exactly bored because I do have things to do. I just feel heavy-hearted. I've been procrastinating certain things for a long while. I finally got down to settle some stuff this morning at the expense of my mood now. However I have hope that my mind will clear and reconcile my inner disturbings with myself. Please lead the way.

Before my mother went to town for her haircut, she brought back a bag full of unwanted CDs from her workplace. As I sifted through the stack, I got my hands on Savage Garden's Affirmation album (the one with The Animal Song in it). It's pretty old - recorded in 1999. It reminded me of Elaine as she was a fan of them during our secondary school days. Now I understand why. Their music's pretty good. What caught me most was the lyrics to some of their songs. Lyrics of music are somewhat poetry right? I think music which you hold dear to your heart will be those whose lyrics speak out to you, touching you.

Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart;

If you need to crash, then crash and burn
You're not alone.

- Crash and Burn by Savage Garden


9.24pm

Back from my grandma's place. A cosy dinner, just the four of us... mom, dad, mama and myself. Overload of pig stomach's soup ("de dou tng"). She cooked "cheng tng" as well. When I asked her how she cooked "cheng tng", her instructions sounded pretty complicated. *grin* I love my grandma although I really can't hold a conversation for nuts. Don't know why my head felt tight and a little dense. Perhaps the spectacle hooks round my ears were too tight or something. Anyhows, my mood's back up when I realised how silly I was being an ass, sulking and being grumpy in the afternoon all because... hmm. As amazing as it sounds, a single sms can brighten up a person's day. =) Hah, the power of technology? =P

Visiting Ms Goh's wake tomorrow. The reflective mood, with the memories is starting to kick in. She's one teacher I'll never forget.

Agape.

Sunshine Through the Rain

The Night.

I was just about to delve into the darkness of the night when someone unexpected msned me in reply to a certain issue that I had brought up. It feels good to be remembered. A simple chat ensued although I had already planned on logging off earlier. Thank you, my friend. It's always great catching up with you. A smile for me tonight!

I hate the night. It is when sadness, uncertainty, hurt, frustration and fear are allowed to escape from the Pandora's box into my heart. It is easier to resist these negative notions during the light of day. However, at night, when everyone's asleep, when it's all dark, when the mind is tired of battling all day, these emotions take over.

I feel lost. I don't know what I should be doing with myself now. I'm stuck in a moment and I don't know what to do or where to head towards to. I don't want to be like this, all painted grey, listless, physically present but unable to focus my restless mind on anything important. I need to find my way somehow.

Who am I? What am I? Am I trying to be someone I am not? Or is there another side of me that I have been suppressing? I need to know. Is my formula wrong? Am I doing things all wrong? Why then is it so hard to see things eye-to-eye?

Please let the negativity stop or I will go insane!