Bleah

Mugging for pharmaco paper now. Don't know why my heart keeps palpitating. Is it the coffee I drank? Or is the anxiety of interacting with the new maid? ARGH. I don't know. I just hope that things will turn out fine. =]

Pharmaco pharmaco pharmaco.

ARGH, drugs drugs drugs!

I want to sleep properly tonight... I don't want to burn midnight oil... so, I need to focus now... but my heart keeps palpitating. ARGH. I feel nervous and I can't remember the stupid drug names. Okay I can but it's really hard to remember. So, coffee or anxiety? But I like coffee... especially latte. *grin* and Cheesecake to go with it! But.. I think I want to eat ahbohleng more.

BUT to ALL pharmaco students... like jac and jo... DON'T GIVE UP! Drug names are like babies' names, so nice and fun to remember! wheeee.

All the best.

Immuno paper down.

Hooray immuno paper's down.
Was feeling super sleepy this morning so made a few glitches here and there. Other than that, I thank God that I managed to finish my paper.

Came back to eat gado-gado Jeki made. It was yummylicious. Then I went to sleep for 3 hours. Woke up with a terrible headache... which is still lingering. Shall slowly start mugging for my last paper. Feeling constipated... hopefully I can somehow deconstipate myself so that I can eat kaya toast or biscuit with kaya! ARGH.. cravings. Talking about cravings, I REALLY want to eat ah-boh-leng. Oooooh the yummy peanut soup, the smooth glutinous white balls with fine sweet fillings of black sesame and peanut. YUMYUMYUM. Shucks I'm getting fat. FATFATFAT. Want to go and play badminton soon. Or go for a run!

Okay, my head's acting up again. ARGH. Well, it's good in a way coz the pain doesn't let my mind wander around too much.

Lord guide my feelings.

Agape.

I feel like a deflated balloon. =(

BI exam at 5pm. I've got to leave my place soon to go to school.

* * *

Lord strengthen me.

A Hug.

My mum just got back from work and gave me a long hug - I really needed that. Have been feeling down today. Studying while fighting 2 battles is indeed taxing - a battle of stamina and a battle of the heart.

Thank you for your sms although I don't really know what to say at this point in time.

Father I Thank You.

It's difficult to get into the studying mood especially when your mind keeps wandering and a persistent heachache hampers your ability to concentrate. I went a little ku-ku last night, as if I were PMSing... I'm sorry if I worried you too much by my apparent insecurity and yearning. When I am still, I know deep down I have so much to smile for. Yes, the two weeks will be bearable.

Listening to Corrinne May's Christmas Album calms me... it reminds me to remember Him.

Yay, the headache finally left me after almost 3 days.

Thank You Lord.

All the best everyone!

Agape.

Internet's BACK

Yay... =)

I find myself being quite distracted. =\ Darn the exams are just around the corner and I am not like studying like mad. ARgh. yah.. I even watched 2h++ of "it started with a kiss" last night till almost 5am. Oh man... how how how? Okay, FOCUS NOW MICH.

I find myself wanting to make concrete changes to myself in order to grow closer to Him. One of the reasons why I NEVER volunteer for PnW is because I feel that I am truly not worthy. I don't really know how to go about doing it but... I must believe in His power to change right? Right now I don't see how I can change. Feeling quite stagnant in my faith. I want to re-commit, I want to be a better instrument! What aspects do I have to die to in order to live more fully and with more joy radiating forth? I envy people who have a perpetual joy oozing out of them. Okay... maybe not envy lah.. inspired? I feel a desire to be close to You! But there are so many obstacles... please take our hands and let us walk with You. I need to pray more. I need to have some concrete form of resolution.

I need to love people more.

Received an sms from Jo today. =) Thanks babe for the encouragement. It's been a while since I had a lovely conversation with you... I really enjoyed our conversation yesterday over the phone.

Okays.. I need to go and bathe! and then... I shall mug mugmugmugmug.

Agape.

Sleepy

Feeling sleepy now... terribly sleepy. Webcasting LSM3212 in the central library. Thank God for familiar faces around me. There's Ryan, Stephanie, Kelvin, Charkwa, Mello, Ivan, Lloyd and myself. I don't feel so lonely. =)

God made me attend lunch time mass today through Linda. Interesting how He works in so many ways. I do hope somehow she knows. I learnt today that we should be thankful for everything... even for the crosses that we have to bear. That got me thinking, do you mean that we can thank Him for our struggle with our own sins and inner demons? I thought sinning makes Him sad? And yet I'm beginning to want to thank Him for my struggles with my sins because they are here for a reason. Then, I don't have to hate myself so much sometimes. God must have put trials and tests for a reason - I hope to be enlightened one day. Meanwhile, I can only hope and pray to have the courage to follow in the path of love.

Friends in Singapore and overseas... all the best in this rather stressful period! I will keep you all in my prayers.

Agape.

The Answer - Corrinne May

I believe you are the answer to every tear I've cried
I believe that you are with me
My rising and my light

Give me strength when I am weary
Give me hope when I can't see
Through the crosses I must carry
Lord, bind my heart to thee

That when all my days are over and all my chores are done
I may see your risen Glory
Forever where You are

* * * *

Felt heavy-hearted just now. Just when I thought I had improved, the Lord let me meet you a second time. It is a little too much for me to bear sitting there. But I am glad that you've friends here and perhaps that in time you may be able to find Him again. :) Meanwhile, I guess... I have to somehow find the courage to keep on trying to face my fears.

Agape.

10/11

10/11 - Happy Birthday to you.
I wish all the happiness for you and that your 21st year be filled with many smiles and laughter!

That is my prayer for you.

* * * * * * *

Presentation is finally over! Major glitch at the beginning of the presentation. =( My heart goes out to Serene.

Lab assignment which was due today wasn't prepared well. I overslept and had to rush it during lecture. However I have no regrets. Thanks to Serene and Jo for answering my calls for help. =) and.. THANK GOD I overslept! When I woke up, my swollen toe magically healed.... although it still hurts a little, I can walk without limping. *^^*

Thanks to you babe for the encouragement when my energy was running low last night. >.< Just being there over at the other side of the wire really helps. And and for the dinner and and and for being your mad self that makes me crack up and go a little mad as well.

All the best everyone!

p.s. I'm doing this in school. Internet's still down at home.

Kehidupan tanpa Internet.

My internet has died at home. NO MORE internet at home!! *gasp*

I just had a juicy slice of papaya and an Old Chang Kee curry puff for tea. Feeling so much better now. Just now all I wanted to do was to sleep. Food really makes you feel so so so so so much better.

OKAY! Precious internet time in school has been well-utilized. =)

Time to do what I need to do.

Agape.

Corrinne May

I stumbled across Corrinne May's "myspace" site when I was surfing Tanya Chua's "myspace". Corrinne May just released a Christmas Album! I haven't really heard much of her songs but her Chirstmas album just draws me to it, perhaps because I really love Christmas carols and songs, especially when they are meaningful. One of her songs in this new album, "The Answer", can be heard on her "myspace". It's beautiful - a heartfelt prayer. It makes me want to draw closer to Him.